“It doesn’t matter where I go. I always find my way back home.”
“There are people who document everything that goes on in their lives and feel the need to publish them all over Facebook. And then there are people like me who do not give a shit about what goes on in their lives but unfortunately have that unnecessary information shoved to my face even after unsubscribing. How about shoving them up your asses instead?”
“At this present time, I am just thankful because I have one of the best gifts here with me - you.”
“"Shit, it’s 2am." I say that at 2am, as if I am surprised.”
“Mosquitoes are so rude. Like, who gave you permission to bite my ass?”
She was reading old messages over the months to a year. That was her - a hoarder. She did not dispose any messages, both important and unimportant unless she chose to completely eliminate that trace of history.
She did not just keep things to herself. She hid them. She was good at that. She knew that was unhealthy, but she also believed that it was for the best. People thought that she would never find out. The truth was, she always did but she never said a word. She left people to live in their fantasy world of her never finding out when she believed to have already uncovered just about every, single thing.
After all, silence was golden. It always had been. Perhaps one day when she had decided to tell it all, those things she had discovered without anyone’s knowledge would be quite a treasure - a chest that would make one feel so small, you wished you never done something you thought was ‘harmless’ in the first place.
“It astounds me of how cheap people are, how low they would stoop, how much they know that they will lose but still carry on. Wow. You are furiously entertaining.”
Have you ever wondered how everything was like magic so unexplainable that not even the greatest could fathom how?
When you were smiling upon hearing what was sweet to your ears that that blinded you? And it made the other laugh at you instead?
And, have you stumbled upon some other things that happened over the period of time when the sweetest words you have ever heard were merely truthful?
How does that feel?
I will tell you…
It feels like the time when you thought you could finally trust was wasted blindly. Not because you were naïve enough but because you were incredibly convinced by words you have been longing for. It feels like the stab your first ‘friend’ gave to you - the sharpest pain that you will never forget no matter how old you will grow.
No matter how much you have guarded yourself, and no matter the amount of trust that you believed that was ‘good enough’ to give, the after feeling will still haunt you. Even when you are at your happiest days and that overshadows this all, I am telling you that you cannot seem to forget that betrayal. Even if it was “just fooling around” from the other, to others.
I just hope that your days will not go downhill to its saddest. Because that is when it hurts. It truly, fucking hurts.